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  • Jane Harbison, Dreaming Big For Little Girls

10 things that will make you feel confident

Confidence is something that can be acquired.

A great place to start is on the inside. When that is sorted, the outside appearance will come naturally.

The external is merely a confirmation that you have found your truth and your tribe. Your tribe has a similar truth.

I haven’t always felt comfortable in my own skin. Walking into a party when I was young, worried if I was wearing the right clothes or my hands were in the right place or if I was standing the right way.

I was often left out of things growing up. Wondering if today I was going to be ‘in’ or ‘out’. I think this is a very normal occurrence and I certainly wasn’t the only one feeling this way. I am certainly more resilient for the experience albeit feeling unpleasant at the time.

I was told many years later, by an experienced psychologist at part of a leadership program, that these people weren’t actually leaving me out, I was choosing not to play along. It didn’t feel right so I chose not to participate.

This brings me to the first essential element of confidence.

You speak your truth

A confident person speaks without fear because their authority comes from knowledge and experience (the two pillars of wisdom).

As a teenager we may feel we don’t have a lot of knowledge and experience. There is so much coming at us it all feels so overwhelming.

This is why who we surround ourselves with is critical.

Those people whose opinions we value and trust to draw upon to guide our decisions. They become a reliable constant while we are trying to work out our own.

Confident people reflect. They give their feelings time and they learn from them, so next time we handle the situation better.

Sticking to your own truth can feel isolating at times, but it is the ultimate in confidence growth.

People who you admire and trust will be attracted to you when you remain firmly planted on your path.

They will want to be around you. They know how you are going to react in certain situations. You will attract people that will want to act the same way.

For example fairness is a value. A confident person will understand what that looks like to them and consistently apply it even when faced with a dilemma between two wrongs or two rights.

This leads me to the second thing.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval” - Mark Twain

You are self aware and can self regulate

A confident person accepts their vulnerabilities. They are prepared to reflect on their behaviour and values and work on living them to the best of their ability.

They understand that the only thing they can control is how they react.

You lift others up

A confident person compliments others with no expectation in return and enjoys sharing their glory.

I am a big believer in the proximity principle as an indicator of success. The primary predictor of success is the people who you choose to hang out with.

Ken Coleman talks about being in the proximity of the right people and in the right place for where you want to go. Asking yourself these two questions:

1. Who do I need to know?

2. Where do I need to be?

Choose to be around the people who lift you up and who you in turn lift up.

When you get around your right people and be in the right places you can’t help but want to support others on their journey.

Nobody can succeed on their own. It is too hard and it is too lonely. That doesn’t sound like fun to me.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” - Charles Dickens

or a more modern take on the same theme…

“If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better.” ― Will Smith

Another of the 10 essential things that will make you confident is you Set Goals.

Start setting yours with the rest of the 10 things that will make you confident. If you have got this far I believe you are already well on your way.

Want to learn more?

Heck Yes! Send me the list. It's FREE and it's FUN!

Jane Harbison is the mastermind behind Dreaming Big For Little Girls, an organization helping young ladies grow in their creativity and confidence. Check out all of Jane's great products, challenges and ideas at

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