Let's get something straight. If you think this post is about track and field events, you're in the wrong spot. Or maybe you're not. We all need to hear this one.
What is one of the biggest hurdles we have as women?
How we talk about ourselves and EACH OTHER.
We are far too critical of ourselves and our perceived flaws. We make mistakes and say, "I'm so stupid." When in fact, we're just human and to err is human. (And to forgive, divine.) We get a zit or put on a few pounds and we say, "I'm ugly." Not true. When we run this negative circuit of thought in our heads, it starts to stick and we start to believe it. Every cell in your body is listening to your thoughts. Make them good ones.
Be mindful of what you say about other women, too. Are you critical? Judgmental? Jealous? Do you compare yourself too often? What you say about other women out loud also let's the women you are with know how you're thinking. If you are too judgmental, they will start to become more insecure by proxy. We all have enough insecurities without our friends feeding into them. Think about it. Have you ever listened to someone make fun of another friend's outfit? You start to think twice about wearing something similar. She has planted the seed of doubt. Don't be that person for someone else. Be better.
If I could wave a magic wand and fix this for you, I would. But, I can't. It takes WORK. But, you know what? You're worth it. Your happiness is worth fighting for.
So, what can you do?
1. Write down "grateful lists." These can be on scrap pieces of paper, sticky notes or in a journal. Write down the smallest things like, "the sun felt good on my face today." Or "I liked my outfit today." Or "I have a wonderful neighborhood." And keep the list going. You'll be surprised how much being conscious of the good in your life makes you focus less on the negative.
2. Thank your body. I have a friend that once told me she thanks her body every night before bed. I thought she was nuts until I tried it. It actually helped me love my body more. (And as someone that hated her body so much that she had an eating disorder, this was no small feat.) So, I will say things like, "Thank you legs for walking me around. Thank you brain for being creative at work. Thank you arms for being strong to hold my baby. Thank you eyes for seeing the beauty outside. Thank you reflexes for being quick while I was driving." You get the idea. Now, give it a try tonight.
3. Try to make genuine CONNECTIONS with people. Don't just click all the likes you want and keep on swiping. Send real private messages and texts. Take it up a notch and make a live phone call. One of my favorite things to do is to call up a pal I haven't spoken to in a while while I walk the dog. It's a great way to catch up. And I'm never disappointed! (And bonus steps in the process!)
4. Try to only compare yourself your "yesterday self." That's all we need to do. Better than yesterday. Not perfect. Not like (name the celebrity/coworker/neighbor) that you are always comparing yourself to. Be mindful of the good choices you are making and keep working towards those goals.
5. Explore what you admire in others. Cultivate a sense of joy FOR them. Try to put the green eyed monster of jealousy away. It's eating at your soul, not feeding it. Instead, send some love and congratulations toward others and their success on the journey.
6. Want some guided reflection? Click here: MY BEST SELF FREEBIE. This mini-journal will help you spend some well deserved time in your own head. This will help you think deeply about your attitude, your body, your self care and more. Try it. You'll love it!
Remember, we're all on this journey. It's work. But, you're worth it! LP