The best gift you can give yourself and other’s is the gift of being honest about your feelings and wants and needs.
I’m a people pleaser. And I generally don’t like conflict. And growing up I didn’t like to rock the boat too much, unless I was just trying to get under may parents' skin. Honestly, often times when people asked me a question I gave the answer I thought they wanted to hear. Not the true answer. Not how I really felt. I set myself up for a lot of resentment. Not telling the truth led to a lot of anger towards the other person who wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Or what I needed. And it was really because I didn’t express what I truly wanted or needed. This also leads to a lot of MIXED signals which isn't healthy either.
I recently read a book by the bright Danielle LaPorte and she tells the following story and it totally hit home to me.
I spoke at university event and asked the student organizer what she was going to school for. "Oh, finance," she answered. "So, working with numbers really lights you up then?" I said. (She responded) "Oh, God no. I pretty much hate it. But being an accountant is good money. And my dad wants me to do this. And he's paying my tuition."
And these decisions start with the small stuff.
Have you ever had someone ask you if you're ready for a snack? Do you check in with your stomach and give a true answer? Or do you see how your friends are responding and follow suit? In this case, literally go with your gut. If you had a big lunch and you don't need a snack, say no thanks. If you are hungry, yes please! Really don't understand an assignment in school? Ask for help. Be truthful. Start with the small stuff before you're not being honest about the big stuff. Because when you are confronted with BIG decisions, you will find it harder to use your voice if you don't practice with the little ones.
Start speaking up now so when big decisions come up in the future, you'll be ready. You don't want to give a false response to these ones:
~Do you want to be my roommate?
~Will you take my shift?
~Can I borrow your answer key?
~Want to go "all the way"?
~Do you want to run the family business when I retire?
Don’t override your true self. Don’t settle for someone else’s desires when that’s not what you want. People will appreciate your honesty, even if it's not their favorite answer. (And if a friend can't understand your truth, is that really a friend?) And YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR TRUTH. And without resentment. And you'll appreciate the truth in others more because you'll understand its importance in yourself.
