There are so many reasons that we avoid asking for help when, actually, that is the thing we need more than anything else.
As a student who usually got all A’s, I was probably more guilty of this than anyone else but (and here’s the part that most people get wrong) I wasn’t afraid of the asking. I was afraid of admitting that I wasn’t perfect.
I bet it does and not just because I’ve spent close to a lifetime hiding from help. As a teacher, I have seen hundreds of girls, of all ages and all abilities, from five year olds to young women, shying away from admitting that they’re not perfect.
But guess what? Not one of us is perfect and that is O.K. Don’t wait until you’re in you’re late twenties, like I did, to find the courage to admit that to yourself, and to all of the other imperfect people around you.
And you know what? The minute that you admit you’re not perfect, and accept the help that is offered to you, an amazing thing happens: you can finally stop worrying about your imperfections and actually work on improving whichever area of your life you happen to be focusing on.
Sometimes, asking for help is the only way to improve ourselves, so have the courage to invest in yourself, and your own progress, by seeking out the support you need.
In attempting to be instantaneously brilliant at everything we try, we are setting ourselves up to fail. No-one is a concert pianist after sitting at a piano three times. We need time to learn and help to flourish. Don’t expect to have all of the answers.
But the great thing is that there are people out there who do have the answers and (something else that took me far too long to learn) people want to help. Never believe that you are an annoyance, or that you do not deserve someone else’s time or attention.
So, to all of you beautiful and imperfect young women, have courage and make it your aim to be braver and more honest, rather than striving all alone for perfection.
Aisha the Tutor