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  • LP

Don't fall into the Valentine trap

Valentine's Day. A lot of people either really love it or really hate it. At this point in my life I'm very indifferent to it. I try to make it special for the loved ones in my life but I don't go over the top or crazy about it. And I don't expect other people to do that for me. I feel like it's very much a Hallmark holiday. And a way for companies to make us feel guilted into buying stuff.

As a teenager, I remember a lot of social pressure on Valentine's Day. If you were dating someone, you were all but required to show how much you love someone with gifts. Preferably at school where everyone could see how loved you were and how much love you could dispense.

My senior year of high school I found myself without a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Now, I'm positive this wasn't my first Valentine's Day without a boyfriend, but this is the one I remember. My friend, Marcie, also was without a boyfriend on this day. And we were feeling a lot of pressure over this holiday and decided to send each other flowers. We had them delivered to school. And both of the cards were signed, "your secret admirer." (We had everyone fooled, right? And were we trying to make some boys jealous? I am guessing it didn't work.)

Looking back - hindsight is 20/20 - this was such a waste! We were putting so much of our value into having a boyfriend - or in this case the illusion of an admirer - that we wasted our hard earned money on this façade. And I'm pretty sure everyone saw right through it.

Ah, I'm glad wisdom has come with age.

If I could go back and talk to those young women right now, I would remind them that they need to start valuing themselves instead of their relationship status. We all do. Now, don't get me wrong. We humans need love and companionship in our lives. But, love and companionship doesn't mean a romantic relationship on a particular holiday are the end-all be-all of our value.

The sooner we start to look inside ourselves the better off we will be. I think a lot of this starts with reflection. (A lot of PAUSE and THINK.)

What kind of person do you want to be?

Not what do you want to wear or how much money you want to make or if you want to be somebody's boyfriend or girlfriend? But, what kind of person? Creative? Inspirational? Global minded? Compassionate? A good leader? Effervescent?

And what kind of people do you want to surround yourself with to be your best self? Do you want to be with people who encourage you to take healthy risks and help you dream big dreams? If you find those people, keep them close. And love yourself enough to know when to let certain people go. Sometimes wishing them well and moving on from toxic people is the best thing you can do for yourself.

In closing, don't sell yourself short on Valentine's Day or any other day. A lot of what is out there is someone trying to make money off of your insecurities. Having someone buy you stuff or buying stuff for somebody else proves nothing about your true value. Only you determine that.

Sending you the biggest hug through the universe and the hope that you may grow to be your awesome best self on this day and all the ones to follow. LP

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